10 years- a tribute to our amazing son and his forever best friend

     Today, July 1st 2014 marks ten years since my amazing first born son was diagnosed with leukemia.  It has been so long since those first days after the dreadful news and our family has grown so much. That precious three year old boy has turned into a loving, caring, giving young man who is now a teenager. He has a heart of gold and takes pride in being a role model and mentor to his younger brother and sister. He loves God and loves helping others. He spends too many hours on the computer, Xbox, and iPhone playing video games- but he sure is good at them. He played the trumpet for two years in the school band, but is giving it up this upcoming year. He also loves playing lacrosse, but because he is truly a kind person through and through being aggressive just doesn’t come naturally for him. He is certainly a wonderful teammate, a vocal leader who is quite knowledgeable about the game, is coachable, and always gives his all for his team. And no matter what he chooses to do in the future I know he will always do it to the best of his ability. Ten years ago I had tears streaming down my face as I received the news about the cancer that had taken over his entire blood stream and bone marrow and wondered what the future could ever hold for my very sick little boy. If I could have listed our “best case” scenario I’m pretty sure the ten year plan would look something quite similar to TODAY. We’ve done it. B has done it. He has done it. And by Him- I mean GOD has brought my amazing boy to this point and I am so excited to see where he will go from here. This boy of mine has taught me so much in life. I hope and pray I am teaching him along this journey of ours as well. And- as our ten year diagnosis day has come, I thought it might be a good time to honor another little warrior who taught both B and myself so much during our journey to this point…..

      I’ve put off writing about sweet Armani for years now because I figured whatever I wrote would never do her justice. But never writing about her and honoring the impact she made on our lives is even more of an injustice, so I figured it was time to try.

     When B was first diagnosed with leukemia most of what I remember is just bits and pieces. The rest is just a blur. Doctors and nurses trying to comfort my sick and hurting little boy and administer very important medications, blood transfusions, no sleep, an ambulance ride to MD Anderson, new doctors and nurses, starting our long treatment process…. The list goes on. My little man stopped eating, stopped walking, stopped smiling. Nothing I tried seemed to help, and I’m pretty sure there wasn’t a smile on my face for quite awhile either. And that was the routine. For days, maybe weeks. Survival mode. That’s all I remember. One day at a time. Often just one hour at a time. Until one special day- no clue of the exact day. But a little girl in a purple bath robe poked her head in our hospital room. She looked at the sticker book on the side table and said “can I come in and play?!” It was as if it was a normal day and she had knocked on a neighbor’s door and asked if the little kid next door could “come out and play.” I was kind of shocked. Where were her parents? Do kids just randomly go into each other’s hospital rooms? And B wasn’t in much of a playing mood. I almost turned her away. And yet…. my son’s little head looked up from his pillow and he seemed intrigued. Childlife specialists at the hospital had brought by toys and movies and play-dough. But nothing up until then had interested him. But this little girl did. He agreed to sit up at the table, with all his wires and IV lines beside him and they played stickers in a “Nemo” activity book. And my baby smiled. Just barely. And not for long, but he smiled. And just like that she was off and on to the next room. I don’t think I even remembered her name then. It was as if she was just an angel who popped in to spread some cheer and then be on her merry way. She was happy. And she had gotten my son out of that hospital bed and for a moment he was able to just be a kid. She showed me that this hospital stay and all the subsequent ones didn’t have to be spent in a dark and lonely room. There were kids living outside that hospital room door. Happy kids. Playing in the playroom and riding on their IV poles down the hallways. And that little girl was around from then on. Hospital stays, clinic visits, our lives… she was there. This little girl who loved the color purple and had the most precious smile and giggle. She became his best friend. She too was fighting cancer, but it would have gone un-noticed if not for her beautiful bald head and fancy colorful scarfs she wore to coordinate with every outfit. She too had lived in hospitals since the tender age of three, but knew how to make them her own personal playground and took her buddy under her wing and they would run the hallways together. She got her treatments and he got his- but they always made time for fun.

     Armani’s battle with cancer didn’t have the same ending as B’s. After four years of friendship between the two, she received her ultimate healing in Heaven in 2008. But that spunky little princess who will always be B's forever best friend continues to make an impression on our family. I see her picture on our family photo wall daily and am reminded to never take a single moment for granted. Every time I see a butterfly flutter by I am reminded of the new life we are promised in Heaven once this body on earth fails us. For Mani remains in our hearts- she just relocated to a much better place and I can’t wait to see that place myself one day. And lastly, but certainly most importantly….. that precious 10-year-old angel on Earth was able to restore and renew my faith in God more than any other single moment I can pinpoint in my life. Thanks to her, I can trust Him and know that He is ALWAYS in control. She did that. A fragile little child lying in a hospital bed with tumors visibly protruding from her body. Through her, He reminded me what it is to truly believe. I laid with her during her last few days and spent some special time with her while her Mom was able to step out for some fresh air. She slept a lot that day, but I loved listening to her breathe. But when she awoke, she said some of the most profound words I’ve ever heard. She immediately asked “Is it gone?!” She tried to reach an area towards her back where a new tumor had recently come up, but she was just too frail to do so. Despite the pain, she insisted I sit her up to check the spot saying “I prayed before I went to sleep that God would make it go away. So… is it gone?” I checked the spot near her shoulder blade and wasn’t sure how to answer her question once I confirmed the lump was still there. How was I supposed to respond? Holding back tears as best I could I told her “not yet.” But here’s where this little girl changed my life… she didn’t skip a beat and she just looked at me and calmly said- “I guess I just need to ask again. I bet next time I wake up it will be gone.” As we held hands she drifted back to sleep as if she didn’t have a care in the world, as if she knew He had her covered. And she was right. He did. A few days later that precious angel awoke in Heaven and she was completely cancer free. No more tumors, no more hospitals, no more tubes and pain. It was gone. He healed her just exactly like she knew He would.

     There is so much more to be said about the way sweet Armani touched our lives. B’s, mine…. our entire family knows about Brendon’s best friend forever and she holds a permanent place in our hearts.  So, on this very special day -10 years after our initial diagnosis- I want to honor my amazing son who is a fighter and a survivor and despite a difficult beginning in life has grown into such a thoughtful and caring young man. He is a teenager who knows to treasure every day and to live a life you'd be proud of if your time on Earth were to come to an end before you expect. And to his best friend who helped guide him during that difficult journey and continues to guide our whole family and remind us to be thankful each and every day for TODAY and trust that God has us covered when we wake up.